I've always used flexible schedules for our school time. When my oldest was in the early grades, one year I tried putting together a detailed schedule for her with specific times for each subject. We couldn't stick to the times, as anyone with several young children at home (especially with a baby) will understand, and my estimates for how long things would take were usually too high, but just plotting the work out like that gave us a sense of how much was realistic to expect in a day.
Since then, I've used other scheduling methods to help juggle the needs of multiple kids (I have four school-aged and one preschooler right now) as well as to train for independence. You can see more about how this has worked for us in these posts:
Sample Term Schedules
Organizing Our AO Year
Categorizing Our Schoolwork
Organizing Our Homeschool
This type of organization of our day really worked well for us, but for two of my four school-age kids it wasn't working as well as I hoped. One especially chafed under a system where he had certain work due by certain times, but disintegrated when given too much freedom. Another was struggling with the larger workload in the new school year and competing demands on her time. While my other two managed to find a balance, those two still hadn't, so a new plan was needed.
Rigid times don't work for us because our schedule for life has too much variability and with so many of us at home too many "crises" come up that derail a tight plan. However, I suspected that having times laid out might help these two kids the way they had helped my oldest, by showing what could reasonably expect to be completed by a certain point of the day and by clarifying the trade-offs involved in procrastinating. So I took the schedules I had already made (using the process laid out in the links). I decided on a reasonable start time for the child in question, then made a list of subjects assigned to times. For the younger child, each subject usually got about 15 minutes, but sometimes the slot was shorter and on occasion it was longer. For the older one, in high school, we used more longer time slots, with at least one being an hour.
These two students still have the same schedule we've always used, but where the others have an untimed daily/weekly checklist, these two have a timed daily checklist. That's more restrictive, but it makes them feel more free. The older one uses this as a guide to how much extra-curricular activity will fit into any given day. The younger one now sees clearly that certain work *has to* be done before snack time or lunch time or whatever. He sees that if he's even slightly diligent, all his work can be done in the morning. And he can look at the clock, compare that to his schedule, and see if he's behind or ahead for the day. I do hold him accountable to be caught up to his timetable before having snack, lunch, or free time--if he's ahead of the table, he can do what he wants to until the next timeslot, but he usually does several assignments in a row before taking a break.
From my point of view, this works exactly the same as the old way where certain categories of work had to be done by certain times. I don't go around with a clock or timer monitoring work. But the added structure of times has helped two of my students visualize this better, so it's been a useful tool.
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Wednesday, September 19, 2018
Tuesday, August 14, 2018
Streamlined Meal Planning
Once they turn five, each of my kids begins choosing and helping to prepare one meal each week. I work closely with each child at first, and gradually I turn over tasks for the child to perform without assistance. How fast that happens varies from child to child and meal to meal.
Five years ago, I blogged about a new way of organizing our meal planning. I was entering the final stages of a complicated pregnancy with a high probability of complications after the birth, and I needed the meal plans to be functional without much help from me each week. This system, described in that earlier post, worked well for us with few changes for five years. But this summer I decided we needed to streamline the process more as well as to shake it up a bit since we had gotten into a rut and, although the food choices were repetitive and boring, deciding what to cook each week was too time-consuming for our current schedule.
Pockets store cards not in use. |
I sorted through the meal cards we had collected, discarding those we never actually made. I made new cards for meals we did sometimes make that didn't already have cards. I solicited suggestions from the rest of the family and added cards. Then we went through a process of selecting various meals. Each child got to choose seven different entrees he would like to make. I made a list. I took that list and sorted it so that each child had a separate column listing the seven meals, and each row had different meals for every child. In some cases, I asked a child to replace one selected meal with something else, letting him choose the something else, so that we would have a bit more variety.
The resulting list had four columns and seven rows. Each row had four different meals that were fairly dissimilar: no two soups or two breakfasts, etc. I then made my own chart with three columns and seven rows, filling in dishes I would make. I focused on things I could make in the pressure cooker, mostly, and tried not to duplicate any of the kids' choices. My chart isn't completely filled in, but I usually don't need to make three meals each week anyway.
One clip for each day of the week. |
*If someone wants to change his plan for that week*, I don't mind *as long as* the new selection doesn't duplicate someone else's plan that week AND either no special ingredients are required or I am given enough advance notice to add things to the regular shopping trip.
Monday, June 18, 2018
Budgeting Basics - Step 9 - Envelopes
When you budget based on your annual income and expenses, using an "envelope system" can work to your advantage.
You have probably heard about people putting money into envelopes to put that money aside for different types of expenses. You might have an envelope for clothing or one for groceries, for instance. When a paycheck comes in, certain amounts are allotted to go in each of the envelopes. Then those expenses are paid from that amount.
Using a system like this lets you consider your whole year when you budget while still managing your money month by month or paycheck by paycheck. Putting certain amounts of cash into designated envelopes throughout the year allows you to plan for future needs while still meeting your immediate obligations.
If you budgeted for annual expenses that are flexible or unscheduled or infrequent (haircuts that are less often than monthly, clothing, gifts, car maintenance, vehicle registration, and other similar types of expenses), you know in advance that some time during the course of the year you will need a certain amount of money (maybe an exact amount or maybe an estimated amount) for each of those expenses. You can take that list of expenses that are less frequent than monthly and divide each one by 12 to get a monthly amount (or by 52 for weekly or by a number that represents the number of paychecks you have each month). That tells you how much money needs to be put aside each month (or each week or each paycheck) to help prepare for that expense. Each month (or each week or each paycheck) that much cash is put into an envelope marked with that category. Then when that expense comes due or that money is needed, the cash is already set aside and available to be used, without affecting the other regular expenditures.
Clothing, gifts, and school supplies inevitably must be bought. Looking at your annual budget lets you know how much you can reasonably spend on each of these categories while still meeting your other financial goals (including saving for emergencies, retirement, and other needs). Putting aside a small amount each month (or each week or each pay period) lets you spread the cost throughout the year, and then when you have an opportunity to buy at a discount or you have a pressing need, the funds are available to take advantage of that discount or meet that need.
The envelope system can be helpful for more frequent expenses too. For instance, if you take out cash to pay for groceries, you can easily see how much money is available for groceries even if you shop more than once per pay period or have multiple people shopping or shop at more than one store. You can save some of that grocery money until there is a sale or other opportunity to buy a large amount of some staple at a low price.
Using cash in envelopes eliminates the need to track what each person is spending on what--when the cash leaves the envelope, no more can be spent until the next set of cash comes in. This helps prevent overspending, so that you can actually stick to your savings goals.
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If you see that an envelope has "enough" cash in it already, you can stop adding money to that envelope and use the designated amount to fill some other envelope or to apply to paying down debt or to reaching a savings goal. You can even put an amount on the envelope to remind yourself how much you are needing in it. Once that amount has been reached, instead of adding to that envelope each month (or each week or each paycheck) you would allocate that amount to a different goal until the funds in that envelope drop below the target amount.
If you are only able to put very small amounts of money toward some goal each month (or each week or each paycheck), that's ok. Once you have saved enough to be able to purchase what you were saving for, then you are able to make that purchase with a clear conscience, knowing that you aren't jeopardizing any other financial commitments.
If you are very disciplined and organized, you can do this without putting cash in envelopes. But before you try "virtual" envelopes, you might try the physical ones first to be sure you can do it, and if you start slipping up when you try the virtual kind you should return to the physical model before you get your finances out of whack.
Physical envelopes don't have to be envelopes. They can be jars or coffee cans or folders or whatever will securely keep your money organized. We use pencil pouches that are meant to go in a three-ring binder. My brilliant husband took the cardboard that was inside the pouch showing through the window on the front, turned it over, and wrote the label on the back. Now the label shows through the window on the front of the pouch.
Not all the money you are saving should be kept as cash. Money you'll be saving for a long time (such as saving for a vehicle or vacation or a new large appliance) can be kept in a savings account, either a separate account or in an account with other funds where you keep track yourself of how much of the money applies to what goal. Also, if some categories start accumulating really large amounts, you'll have to decide if you should put that money in savings, stop adding to that category until the amount in it drops below a certain threshhold, or go ahead and use the money.
Back to the Beginning
Back to the Beginning
Budgeting Basics - Step 8 - Big Picture
Why should you base your budget on your annual pay rather than budgeting around each individual paycheck or month?
Many expenses are weekly or monthly, and it seems reasonable to manage those based on your individual paychecks or each month. Then for the expenses that are infrequent or not scheduled, you pay out of the surplus of each paycheck or each month's pay.
When you do that, it's hard to plan for expenses that come less often but are fully foreseeable. Also, when you budget based on a short period of time, it's hard to save for those expenses that can be expected but can't be known in advance.
Examples:
Vehicle registration comes only once per year, but you know exactly when to expect it and how much it will cost. This is a fully foreseeable expense that isn't monthly.
Vehicle registration comes only once per year, but you know exactly when to expect it and how much it will cost. This is a fully foreseeable expense that isn't monthly.
Christmas and birthday gifts and celebrations each come once per year at times that are known in advance. You get to choose how much you spend on them, but you can plan that in advance based on your annual income and expenses.
Clothing purchases have to be made, especially with growing children to buy for, but exactly when they have to be made or how much they will cost isn't definite. (You can of course decide how much to spend and when to buy, but it isn't necessarily scheduled.)
Most families can expect to have some medical or dental expenses during each year. You can't necessarily know in advance when they will occur or how much they will be, but you can guess at an amount that will cover some of them.
Car repairs aren't usually foreseeable, but cars do need them regularly, especially repairs such as new tires or belts and hoses. It's reasonable to have a sum of money on hand to help pay for those expenses even though you can't know in advance exactly when they will occur or how much they will cost.
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When you budget based on the entire year's pay and the entire year's expenses, you can make an attempt to include those less frequent or unscheduled expenses. That allows you to be prepared for them ahead of time rather than scrambling at the last minute.
The next step will explain how the "envelope system" can help you use the annual budgeting method to your best advantage.
Back to the Beginning
Back to the Beginning
Budgeting Basics - Step 7 - Allocating the Surplus (Margin)
When you have a realistic list of income and expenses that has income higher than expenses, you next need to allocate that extra income. It's tempting to use that extra money for spending on things you want to do but haven't budgeted for. In a way, that's what we're going to do, but not as free money.
You need to have a nest egg, some money put away for emergencies. To start with, you need to get $1000 put away that can be used to cover those totally unexpected expenses like a plumbing repair or bail.
:-)
Some of you will say, "That's easy! Already have that!" Those people can read on after this paragraph. Some of you will say, "That's impossible!" No, it's hard but not impossible. It requires you to take every dollar you can scrape together and put it aside in a safe place and not touch it except when you have an actual emergency. It means you have to do without some things you would really like to have. But it *can* be done, and it *must* be done. Emergencies come along whether we want them to or not, and you must have money available to deal with them.
Once you have your $1000 saved, it's time to think of big expenses that come along periodically that aren't really unexpected. You know that appliances will break and need replacing, so you should plan for that. Some of your surplus needs to be saved so you have money to pay for the new appliance or the repair. You know that your vehicles will need repairs periodically. You know you need to do maintenance on your home.
Make a list of these sorts of items. You can even include vacations and other "fun" things here. Put down next to each item how much money you would like to have on hand all the time to cover that expense. For instance, you might want to keep $700 or $1000 on hand to cover an appliance repair, and probably at least $500 for auto repairs.
Now take the surplus amount of money that wasn't needed for your more regular expenses (listed as Cash Flow Margin on the spreadsheet I shared), and start applying it to those categories. You might make jars with labels to keep in your house, or you might have separate savings accounts at the bank, or you could put the money in your main savings account and keep track of how much belongs to which category. You might have only a very small amount to put towards these expenses, but if you put it faithfully where it belongs, you will eventually reach the amount you specified. Then you can start putting that surplus into another category.
If you have reached the amount you wanted for each of these extra categories, start putting the surplus into your emergency fund. You actually need enough money in your emergency fund to cover 6 months of living expenses!
And when you have to spend some of the money you've put aside in these funds, use the surplus to start replenishing the category you had to pull from.
Back to the Beginning
Back to the Beginning
Budgeting Basics - Step 6 - Adjusting
When you completed Step 5, you had an estimate of your annual income and outflow, how much money you bring in and how much goes back out again.
If your income was higher than your estimated spending, things look pretty good. But check your estimates. Did you forget a category? Did you estimate too low? Did you include expenses you know will occur but not exactly when or for how much, like car repairs (make an estimate for the year, even just a few hundred dollars) or school supplies?
If your income was lower than your expenses, that's not surprising. Now we need to fix that!
One way to fix that is to look at those discretionary or variable expenses and see if they can be reduced. But don't be unrealistic! You can't budget $20 a year for clothing for a family of 5 unless you are a super thrifty clothes shopper who receives lots of hand-me-downs.
Another way to get your spending in line with your income is to look at some of the bills we listed to see if some of those can be reduced or eliminated. Do you need all the insurance coverage and other options that are deducted from your paycheck? Would it make more sense for you to pay cash for some things or purchase them from a different source than to pay the price for coverage through your employer? Only you can determine that for each item on your list.
You must get your spending estimate down below your income estimate, and you must stick to that spending estimate (or less). If you spend more than you earn, you will experience financial disaster. In fact, we have to have some leeway, some excess income (no matter how small) because we must save money to cover the inevitable large expenses that occur sporadically.
Back to the Beginning
Back to the Beginning
Budgeting Basics - Step 5 - Total Expenses
Now we add up our numbers, all the amounts we put into our flexible categories plus the amounts we previously listed for regular bills and known expenses.
Make sure you are adding up numbers for the same time frame! I think it's easiest to do this initially based on annual numbers, so if you have a monthly number, multiply it by 12 first. Weekly numbers get multiplied by 52, etc.
If you're using my spreadsheet as a template, the numbers should already have added up automatically. Now is a good time to check the math and make sure all the numbers are adding correctly. If they are not, you'll have to troubleshoot the formulas on the spreadsheet.
When you have added all of these up, you have a rough idea of your annual spending. How does it compare to the annual income we calculated long, long ago? If your annual spending number is smaller than your annual income, you have a surplus that you can save. If it's bigger than your annual income, you have a deficit and need to reduce some of your spending amounts. On the spreadsheet I gave you, that number will show up as Cash Flow Margin down near the bottom. If it's positive, that's good. If it's negative, we've got more work to do.
Back to the Beginning
Back to the Beginning
Budgeting Basics - Step 4 - Other Expenses
We've figured out how much we have coming in, and we've recorded all our regular bills that we're committed to spending.
Now sit down and think about what else you spend money on regularly. Just make a list of everything you can think of. Don't include monetary amounts, just the label.
- clothes
- groceries
- eating out
- gas
- auto repairs
- school supplies
- Christmas gifts
etc.
- clothes
- groceries
- eating out
- gas
- auto repairs
- school supplies
- Christmas gifts
etc.
You can see some items on the spreadsheet I showed you, just as examples. You can add your own in place of mine or in addition to mine, if you're using that spreadsheet.
Let's put some numbers into the categories you listed. For some things, you can make a rough estimate. For instance, how often do you fill up your vehicle's tank with gas, in general? How much does that roughly cost? Multiply that out for the year, and put that number down for fuel (or whatever category you are keeping that in).
How many people do you buy Christmas presents for? How much do you intend to spend for each of them? What about birthday presents? How many household members get haircuts for which you must pay? How often? How much does that cost each time? Each of those amounts can go in the Annually column in the appropriate row, unless it's an amount that is spend monthly or even more frequently.
It's probably best to do these as annual amounts for now. Some of these categories are infrequent, so making estimates for the year will be simpler than trying to do them for the month or for a two-week period.
If you aren't sure how to estimate an expense, or if it's pretty flexible (like "gifts" or "clothes"), take a look at this list to get an idea of a reasonable amount to start with as an estimate.
Back to the Beginning
Budgeting Basics - Step 3 - Bills
Find every recurring bill you have.
* If the amount is the same each time you pay, then one copy of that bill will do. Car payments, mortgage payments, and phone bills often are the same each month.
* If the amount varies, gather several copies, ideally a year's worth. Utility bills, especially electricity or gas, often vary from month to month.
Take that stack of bills and sort it. Bills that are the same every month go in one stack. Bills that change each month go in another.
* If the amount is the same each time you pay, then one copy of that bill will do. Car payments, mortgage payments, and phone bills often are the same each month.
* If the amount varies, gather several copies, ideally a year's worth. Utility bills, especially electricity or gas, often vary from month to month.
Take that stack of bills and sort it. Bills that are the same every month go in one stack. Bills that change each month go in another.
We're going to list these bills on our budget. If the bill is the same every month, list that item and put the amount in the column for monthly expenses.
If the bill changes, take all of the examples you've collected, add up the amounts, and divide by the number you have. That will give you an average amount. List the bill on your budget and put that average in the monthly expense spot.
If you have bills that are more frequent than monthly or less frequent than monthly, you can convert them to a monthly expense to list them in the Monthly column or you can convert them to an annual expense and list them in the Annually column.
Back to the Beginning
Back to the Beginning
Budgeting Basics - Step 2 - Deductions
Now that we've gathered pay stubs or records and we've recorded gross pay over a period of time, let's see where the net pay amount comes from.
Look at your pay stubs over a full month, a recent month. Amounts deducted may not be the same for each pay period! Make a list of what items are deducted from the pay and how much. Do that for each of the pay stubs.
Some items are a fixed amount, like insurance.
Some vary based on the amount of pay, like taxes.
Some vary based on the amount of pay, like taxes.
*If* your gross pay is consistent, the same each pay period, then for variable items you can just use the amount from one check for your budget.
*If* you have a consistent base pay or your pay is variable, then use the amount from your base pay or the lowest check from the last couple of years (the gross pay you're using to budget from).
*If* you have a consistent base pay or your pay is variable, then use the amount from your base pay or the lowest check from the last couple of years (the gross pay you're using to budget from).
If you aren't sure what to put for the deductions, you can work off of your net pay (the pay you receive after deductions are withheld) or you can make your best estimate.
Enter these amounts (gross pay, and all deductions) on the form you're using to record your budget.
If you're using the worksheet I provided, you can enter a monthly amount in the Monthly column and the sheet will convert it to annual, or you can enter an annual amount in the Annually column.
When this assignment is complete, you should have your monthly gross pay and monthly paycheck deductions recorded on your budgeting worksheet.
Budgeting Basics - Step 1 - Income
Think about your sources of income. Where does the money come from? How often?
Here's an article that helps clarify, especially if you have a more complicated situation such as a variable income.
- Don't figure your income on a monthly basis unless you get paid once a month. Figure it based on the pay period you actually have.
- If your pay is variable, do look back to find your smallest check over the last two years, but also try to get an average amount for the last couple of years. Both pieces of information can be helpful in planning.
- This is gross income, not net. Don't deduct taxes or other items that probably are withheld from your check.
- Ultimately we will be planning based on annual income, so keep that in mind.
Have you collected some paystubs? (These are probably stored online somewhere. That's good, because once you find that "somewhere" you can easily review a series of paystubs.)
Start with either an exact figure, exactly how much is earned in each pay period, or with a worst case scenario, the lowest amount earned in a pay period over the last two years.
*If* the income is totally predictable, such as a flat salary with no overtime, then use this exact figure in your calculations.
*If* the income sometimes varies, then use the lowest amount from the last two years or use your average annual income for the last two years or some other reasonable amount that reflects what you expect to earn.
Now it's time to start making a list! You can use any budgeting worksheet you want to use. This link is to a format that *I* use, and you may copy it to your own Google Drive or download it to your computer. Then you can start filling it in.
Just fill in the Projected Income - Gross Wages section. It's set up for you to put in a monthly amount and it will calculate an annual amount. If you fill in an annual amount in Annual spot, a monthly amount will be calculated to the right.
Start with either an exact figure, exactly how much is earned in each pay period, or with a worst case scenario, the lowest amount earned in a pay period over the last two years.
*If* the income is totally predictable, such as a flat salary with no overtime, then use this exact figure in your calculations.
*If* the income sometimes varies, then use the lowest amount from the last two years or use your average annual income for the last two years or some other reasonable amount that reflects what you expect to earn.
Now it's time to start making a list! You can use any budgeting worksheet you want to use. This link is to a format that *I* use, and you may copy it to your own Google Drive or download it to your computer. Then you can start filling it in.
Just fill in the Projected Income - Gross Wages section. It's set up for you to put in a monthly amount and it will calculate an annual amount. If you fill in an annual amount in Annual spot, a monthly amount will be calculated to the right.
We're working with gross income, before any deductions have been taken out. I like to work with this figure because I want to see the deductions on my worksheet so I can consider changing them if I need to. If you don't want to work with these right now, you can use the net income instead and simply skip the step where deductions are recorded.
Back to the Beginning
Back to the Beginning
Budgeting Basics - Intro
Money matters. When money comes in, we can spend it however seems best at the time, but unless we make a plan ahead of time we'll never be able to accomplish longterm goals with it or make sure that our important priorities are taken care of.
Budgeting is not a mysterious process. There's no one right way to do it, either. I am going to describe what I do, simply because it's what I know best and because I think it works or I wouldn't keep doing it. Mostly I think it's critical to know what comes in and goes out, to plan for future needs, to focus on the most important priorities, and to set reasonable limits. Then money becomes a tool, not a master.
Step 1 - Income
Step 2 - Deductions
Step 3 - Bills
Step 4 - Other Expenses
Step 5 - Total Expenses
Step 6 - Adjusting
Step 7 - Allocating the Surplus (Margin)
Step 8 - Big Picture
Step 9 - Envelopes
Budgeting is not a mysterious process. There's no one right way to do it, either. I am going to describe what I do, simply because it's what I know best and because I think it works or I wouldn't keep doing it. Mostly I think it's critical to know what comes in and goes out, to plan for future needs, to focus on the most important priorities, and to set reasonable limits. Then money becomes a tool, not a master.
Step 1 - Income
Step 2 - Deductions
Step 3 - Bills
Step 4 - Other Expenses
Step 5 - Total Expenses
Step 6 - Adjusting
Step 7 - Allocating the Surplus (Margin)
Step 8 - Big Picture
Step 9 - Envelopes
Friday, March 30, 2018
The Young Man's Guide to Awesomeness
Young Man's Guide to Awesomeness |
The three major sections of the book cover How to Guard Your Heart, How to Get the Girl, and How to Save the World. Within each section, chapters outline different areas of focus. In each chapter, the topic is explored within several subsections. A pithy Big Idea gives a piece of advice. A body part is highlighted along with an explanation of how that body part affects this topic. Typical responses or situations are described. Advice is given for how to respond differently than the norm. A related lesson from the life of the biblical king David provides an example. The Take Action subsection gives a short list of concrete steps to take. Talk About It has discussion questions, and there's a QR code that links to a video.
Johnson's advice and admonitions here are direct and earnest but not overly explicit. Sex is discussed quite a bit, but in an appropriately tactful way. The humor in the book will appeal to older pre-teen and teen boys but isn't crass.
LATCH
Latch: A Handbook for Breastfeeding with Confidence At Every Stage is a straight-forward, encouraging resource for moms who would like to breastfeed. The book is organized by the stages of the process, starting with prenatal preparation and ending with weaning.
*Preparing to Breastfeed
* Establishing Breastfeeding
* Breastfeeding Through Changes
* Weaning from Breastfeeding
The tone is matter-of-fact and supportive, and the author does not make judgmental statements. Moms facing typical breastfeeding challenges will find practical advice along with suggestions for where to go for additional help if that is needed. Many testimonials from breastfeeding moms are included, giving a multitude of perspectives on the process and the types of challenges moms face. I have nursed five children, so I found much of this information familiar, but I still saw some new and helpful facts and ideas.
I would have liked to see more testimonials from moms who had a smooth experience or at least a bit more recognition that breastfeeding, once established, can be a relatively simple and uncomplicated process. Also, proper hydration wasn't emphasized as much as I would have liked, but that may be simply that my own personal experiences have made me overly cognizant of that factor.
This is a friendly, functional guide to breastfeeding. This is absolutely a book I would buy for an expectant friend who wanted to breastfeed or for someone who was experiencing challenges in the process. It's a book I would have liked to have had when I was first trying to breastfeed.
(I received a free copy of this book to review.)
*Preparing to Breastfeed
* Establishing Breastfeeding
* Breastfeeding Through Changes
* Weaning from Breastfeeding
The tone is matter-of-fact and supportive, and the author does not make judgmental statements. Moms facing typical breastfeeding challenges will find practical advice along with suggestions for where to go for additional help if that is needed. Many testimonials from breastfeeding moms are included, giving a multitude of perspectives on the process and the types of challenges moms face. I have nursed five children, so I found much of this information familiar, but I still saw some new and helpful facts and ideas.
I would have liked to see more testimonials from moms who had a smooth experience or at least a bit more recognition that breastfeeding, once established, can be a relatively simple and uncomplicated process. Also, proper hydration wasn't emphasized as much as I would have liked, but that may be simply that my own personal experiences have made me overly cognizant of that factor.
This is a friendly, functional guide to breastfeeding. This is absolutely a book I would buy for an expectant friend who wanted to breastfeed or for someone who was experiencing challenges in the process. It's a book I would have liked to have had when I was first trying to breastfeed.
(I received a free copy of this book to review.)
Sacred Search
Whenever I find a copy of Gary Thomas' books Sacred Marriage or Sacred Parenting at a discount price, I buy it. I love to give these books to other people when they are facing challenges in their marriage or their parenting. I recently learned that he had written Sacred Search, about choosing a marriage partner, and I bought the paperback and the ebook. I have teenagers now, and I'm always looking for excellent resources to help them transition to adulthood and the new challenges it brings.
Sacred Search tries to set the focus of the dating relationship on the purpose of the marriage relationship. Thomas hopes that Christian marriages will become support systems for lives of ministry and training grounds for new generations of Christians who will form the same types of marriages. From the beginning and throughout the book he reminds readers that Christian lives should be focused on the kingdom of God, and this means that Christian marriages should be focused on the kingdom of God. Therefore choosing a spouse needs to focus on that component of the relationship too.
Thomas covers much more than that, though. He talks about the pitfalls of infatuation and how to avoid being deceived by feelings. He discusses many other deceptions that lure people into marriages they later regret. He suggests considering each person's expectations for the marriage relationship, giving examples of different types of expectations people have and the potential pitfalls of each one. His chapter on premarital sex wonderfully combined mercy with firm warnings backed by information. He also explains how to develop the relationship constructively and look for common ground.
The intended audience for this book seems to be single adults, primarily. Most of the book is suitable for older teens, and none of it is inappropriate for most older teens who are interested in pursuing serious dating relationships. Some of the material isn't as relevant to teens, such as the advice for going out looking for a mate when options seem limited.
I am using this book with my older teen now, and I intend to have my other kids read it as they get to an appropriate age. Sacred Search helps set the right tone for dating in an intentional way as a means for selecting a life partner who can really be a partner in walking with God.
Sacred Search tries to set the focus of the dating relationship on the purpose of the marriage relationship. Thomas hopes that Christian marriages will become support systems for lives of ministry and training grounds for new generations of Christians who will form the same types of marriages. From the beginning and throughout the book he reminds readers that Christian lives should be focused on the kingdom of God, and this means that Christian marriages should be focused on the kingdom of God. Therefore choosing a spouse needs to focus on that component of the relationship too.
Thomas covers much more than that, though. He talks about the pitfalls of infatuation and how to avoid being deceived by feelings. He discusses many other deceptions that lure people into marriages they later regret. He suggests considering each person's expectations for the marriage relationship, giving examples of different types of expectations people have and the potential pitfalls of each one. His chapter on premarital sex wonderfully combined mercy with firm warnings backed by information. He also explains how to develop the relationship constructively and look for common ground.
The intended audience for this book seems to be single adults, primarily. Most of the book is suitable for older teens, and none of it is inappropriate for most older teens who are interested in pursuing serious dating relationships. Some of the material isn't as relevant to teens, such as the advice for going out looking for a mate when options seem limited.
I am using this book with my older teen now, and I intend to have my other kids read it as they get to an appropriate age. Sacred Search helps set the right tone for dating in an intentional way as a means for selecting a life partner who can really be a partner in walking with God.